September 28

Unlock Your Potential


By Chuck Coker

“Success and prosperity is a very individual state.” To some. this means living in a big house, driving a Bentley, and having friends in high places. To another it is a quiet cabin in the woods next to a spring-fed lake, knowing that in the morning you can go outside a pick fresh fruit and vegetables. To another, it is having the security to know that when the workday is over it can be spent with family and friends or sitting on the sofa next to a crackling fire reading their favorite book.

Success and prosperity reside within the mind of the individual. That is why someone other than yourself cannot help you achieve your dreams. They don’t have the desires that reside in your heart that are waiting to be fulfilled. They simply do not know what you know. They can make recommendations all day long and give you good advice, but it is all based on their experience, not yours.

Success and prosperity are ingrained into your very psyche. It has a unique twist in your mind that is not found in the minds of others. You can find others with similar beliefs about success and prosperity, but no one will have what you have, nor have the capacity for success on your heart’s path. You simply have to wade through the cobwebs of your brain past all of the negative experiences you’ve encountered and found the golden ring waiting to be snatched up from one of your brain lobes.

First Steps in Unlocking Your Personal Development Potential

Success and prosperity are not limited by the people around you. They are limited by your habits and beliefs about the personal assets you were born with. NO ONE was born without qualities that cannot be transferred into their own version of success. The truth is most people just do not take the time to look internally long enough to see what is right in front of them. They do not grasp what will bring them joy because they are too busy doing what others have ingrained into their psyche as what is right for them. You can take the first step with LifeThrive’s free Personal Development Assessment test.


Your idea of success and prosperity begins the moment you decide you want a different way of life badly enough to do something about it. It can begin now (your best chance) or later (very later, if ever when you procrastinate.) It will begin when you walk out of your state of isolation because we do not live in a society where it must exist. A phrase often quoted over the past ten years is this: You are never more than six people away from the President of the United States. You know people who know people. You have abilities that will lead you to success. Your job is to embrace those God-given abilities and put them to work for you. Others’ advice may help guide you, but ultimately you must make the choices.

The Four Limiting Mentalities:

After studying psychometrics, human behavior, values, beliefs (including theological seminary), and psychology proper, I have come to the conclusion that there are only four mindsets that can keep you from your dreams. As we enter this phase of the personal development process, you will become briefly acquainted with these four mindsets that induce habitual behaviors, which keep from a state of prosperity. After this brief identification, we will deal with each, giving you real-life examples of how it may manifest in yours and others’ lives.

To understand those impediments to your thinking you must understand their origins. There are really only two reasons for doing anything in life PLEASURE and PAIN. I know that sounds like an oversimplification, but it’s not bear with me.

First of all, the concept is not new Aristotle claimed there was an antagonistic relationship between pleasure and pain in his writing Rhetoric:

We may lay it down that Pleasure is a movement, a movement by which the soul as a whole is consciously brought into its normal state of being; and that Pain is the opposite.

Scientists have discovered that the opioid and dopamine systems in our neural systems have an impact on how we experience this same pleasure and pain. And psychologists have assigned it a name. They call it the Reward/Punishment system.

Well, sometimes the reward/punishment system gets out of whack. When it does, we get punished while seeking rewards and rewarded when we should be punished. It happens all the time and you cannot blame yourself (up until this point) because many of us were programmed to do what we shouldn’t do (because we honestly did not understand how the program worked). That’s the purpose of this part of the personal development process to understand how to make the right decisions when it comes to pleasure and pain. That’s it’s nothing more! However, if you master that you can be assured you will find success, prosperity, or whatever else you are looking for.

Time to be more specific:

The foundation of understanding this is that you must consider both pleasure and pain in their two individual states:

  • The pleasure that you have not experienced before

  • The pleasure that you are experiencing presently

  • The pain that you have not experienced previously

  • The pain that you are experiencing presently

When you get punished while seeking pleasure or rewarded when you should be punished, you have stepped outside the boundaries of how the system is designed to work. Again, do not stress! This is normal and natural. What is important for you to understand is that you can work within the system if you have an understanding of how your mind gives you a heads up about an impending improper decision.

We’re at a point now to where you have a general understanding of the basis of how we are going to try to help. However, the theory is fine, but you really need to see what this looks like in real life. If you cannot see it then you will have no way of developing your own approach to prospering. Let’s begin with the key reasons people do not succeed, despite how hard they may try.

Success Blockers

Some people struggle with what they really want! This can happen if:

  • They have limiting beliefs about themselves (or self-esteem issues) and often settle for less than their best.

  • They are easily distracted or have their attention divided into multiple areas of focus.

  • They do not have clarity about what attaining their goals will provide them.

  • They over-complicate what they have the ability to accomplish.

  • They lack passion leading to indecisiveness.

  • Even if people know what they want, some do not know how to develop a pathway to achieve their desires.

    This can happen if:

    • They cannot envision a way or path of reaching their desired goal.

    • They do not understand how to acquire, use, or apply programs and/or processes.

    • They ratchet up the intensity, work harder, don’t pay attention to the handwriting on the wall and do not change the approaches.

    • They are stuck in a rut, rationalize their decisions, and believe they are right without justification or support.

    • They lack respect for the future, often caused by (destructive) fear.

Some people do not know how to chunk their challenges into manageable bites.

This can happen if:

  • They underestimate or overestimate their goals.

  • They do not work smart.

  • They do not respond in a timely manner.

  • They overload themselves and only deal with what’s in front of them.

  • They can be careless and perceived as uncaring.

Some people do not feel they can change their environment positively.

  • They refuse to admit they are not in their best environment.

  • They procrastinate or allow others to make their choices (or intimidate them).

  • They defend the pain or stress with a belief or image they want to project.

  • They have lost sight of their goals, settling for less than they really want.

  • They are hopeless on regular occasions.

If you relate to any of the above, take a deep breath because help is on the way. Each of the examples you have read is simply symptoms of getting the pleasure/pain process out of sync. THAT CAN BE FIXED. That is why you are here now. It will get fixed, but first, we must build a foundation.

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About the author 

Chuck Coker

For more than 30 years, Chuck has focused his career on people's development. He has implemented proprietary Personal Formation, Human Capital, Talent Management, and incentive-based programs across a broad scope of Fortune Companies, regional organizations, and educational institutions.


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